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Friday, 4 May 2012

Locked Up Abroad is different.

Reality TV is, at its core, about letting viewers revel in the bad decision-making of others: those who speak without thinking, who backstab, who have sex without condoms, who cheat. Frustratingly, though, reality shows—to which I am unapologetically addicted—tend to reward bad behavior, by giving its villains notoriety, spinoffs, opportunities to endorse weight-loss products, a nice sideline in paid interviews with supermarket tabloids, and other D-list rewards.

Locked Up Abroad is different. The National Geographic show, the sixth season of which premiered last week, gives its stars something they wouldn’t get on other reality shows: their comeuppance.

Having debuted in the U.K. (under the title Banged Up Abroad), Locked Up Abroad showcases one person (sometimes a couple) who ends up in prison overseas. Participants fit into one of two categories. The first group are the (largely) innocent: the married missionary couple who were kidnapped in the Philippines by the Islamist group Abu Sayyaf, for instance, or the seemingly goodhearted duo who wanted to help children in Chechnya, but ended up held hostage. These tales of the altruistic and naive can be difficult to watch.

But then there are those who rather deserve what happens to them. Typically these are drug smugglers, and their episodes follow a familiar arc. A young person—they’re almost always young—is bored or in need of cash (usually both). She is desperate or feels invincible (usually both). Someone approaches her and offers a seemingly great deal: an all-expenses-paid, luxurious overseas trip in exchange for a small favor. Sometimes the would-be employer is upfront and admits he needs a drug mule, but downplays the risk; other times, he hints at harmless-sounding illegalities, like bringing back legal goods to beat the export tax. In a few cases, the cover story is painfully thin: Come with me to check out this cool new nail polish technology only available in Thailand, for example. (That woman was in a vulnerable place: She had just been released on bail after killing her partner’s former husband—in self-defense, she claimed.)

The drug smugglers are caught, of course, usually at the airport, and brought to prison. And while a few episodes have taken place in developed countries—Spain, Japan, South Korea—the majority of our anti-heroes end up incarcerated in places with some of the dirtiest and most dangerous penitentiaries in the world.

Take last week’s episode, “From Hollywood to Hell.” (And pardon my spoilers, but this installment is too good not to describe in detail.) In 2001, actor Erik Aude was living the marginal Hollywood dream. An ür-bro, he had played bit parts in Dude, Where’s My Car?(credited as “Musclehead”) and 7th Heaven (“Boyfriend”) when a gym buddy asked him to go to Turkey to bring back “leather goods.” Aude makes the trip, and though a drug-sniffing dog alerts authorities at the Turkish airport, they find nothing—so Aude feels sure the whole thing is legit. He even recommends that one of his brothers start couriering for his friend. Then, when his brother backs out of a planned trip to Pakistan in 2002, Aude steps in, and shit gets real.

It is difficult to feel sorry for Aude. After his escort dumps him in an Islamabad hotel and warns him not to leave because the area is unsafe for Americans, he doesn’t head to the embassy or the airport. Instead, he goes jogging—and even tries to flirt with girls in headscarves on the street (with disastrous results). And when he is taken to the airport with just one suitcase, he is (he claims) not the least bit suspicious that he might be a drug mule. When a customs official asks him whether his trip was for business or pleasure, he cheeses, “Pleasure is my business.”

Aude’s episode is mind-bogglingly watchable, not least because he—of course!—plays himself in the re-enactment. In his telling, he was a virtual action star: On at least three occasions, he single-handedly fights back dozens of Pakistanis. After he takes out a prison bully, he is hailed a hero. He rejects a reduced sentence because it would require him to plead guilty—and his pride is more valuable than his freedom, he says.

Aside from those truly in the wrong place at the wrong time, the most sympathetic characters of Locked Up Abroad may be the embassy employees called in to assist the suspected smugglers. Inevitably, Locked Up Abroad participants are horrified that the embassies of their homelands—usually English-speaking countries like the U.S., the U.K., or Australia—can’t do more for them. I can just imagine U.S. Embassy workers calling “not it” every time they get word from local authorities about some young American knucklehead who thought he could sneak past security with a bag full of cocaine.

Tonight’s episode is called “The Juggler Smuggler,” and its “hero” is Mark Greening, a “party-loving” drug-runner who knows his latest trip is “doomed” when he doesn’t get his fortune told by “his favorite Gypsy woman.” I can’t wait.

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Jet-set: Marbella
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Pumping: Torremolinos
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"Estark 92". Situated on the N340 Moterway coastal rd between benalmadena and Fuengirola. This is the creme de la creme of action on the costa.Girls change every 15 days and there are always lots to chose from. beers are reasonable at 6 Euros and a girl will cost 60 euros for what ever you like (make sure you discuss what they´ll do for you b4 you go upstairs). All girls are of fair quality or better up to sex goddess status. They vary in nationality coming mostly from central/sout america and eastern europe. They are all willing to please and often have uniforms/costumes in there rooms if desired along with a range of toys.sex is not hurried and you are garunteed not to be disapointed. I love this place. most girls speak english and spanish and often other languages too.Another reasonably good club is "Scandalo" situated on the Guadalorce industrial estate near malaga. A good thing about this club that you dont get in Estarks is that they have live gogo dancers/strippers in the main room. prices are the same as estark though the girls dont change as often and are not quite upto the same standard but still very sexy.

Club le Cocdor, which is just outside Torremolinas. It is a beautiful Mediterranean Estate and the bedrooms come with a whirlpool. It is simply fabulous. When entering the guy at the reception charges 13 Euro for Entrance and gives you a card for a free drink. I had a class of red wine and looked around at the chicas who are all sitting around the main area. This is quite a classy place. The girls are from all over the world, inclulding Romania, Italy, Colombia, Venezuela, Cameroon, Espana (the two chicks from Spain were in their 30's and didn´t appeal to me),

Background

Clubs

Crescendo is a small club in Puerto Banus. Dances are 30 euros, of which the club takes 10 euros; the house fee is 30 euros per night, although this is waived if it is not busy.
It is a strictly no touching club. Girls are expected to take it in turns on stage with nylon stockings, dancing with dresses for one song and in underwear for one song.
Crescendo Nude Club is in Casa Q - L 13 Puerto Banus, Costa Del Sol. It is open Monday to Saturday from 5 pm – 1 am .Estark 92 is located in Carvajal-Fuengirola, near club La Cubana , and it has plenty of Eastern European and Latina prostitutes with different shapes, colors, and BBBJ attitude, many of whom you would be proud to take anywhere with you. At Estark 92, premium sluts have their own private room. 70 euros for half an hour is still a reasonable price, but if the girl likes you, you sometimes get longer time. Sometimes, you can hold three separate girls each evening in this brothel. A bottle of beer costs 5 euros and the lady drinks are always a little more. Beware and discuss what you expect before going to the room.
Estark 92 club schedule is Tues-Weds 9 pm - 2 am, Thurs-Fri 7 pm – 2 am , Sat 2 pm - 6 am .
S'candalo is a luxurious strip club that doesn't charge entrance fee. A taxi may charge you 5-6 euros to get you there, at Pol. Guadalhorce (frente a ITV), from the city center. Get really excited with a 20 euro lap dance. Most of the girls at S'candalo have come from Russia , Croatia , and Eastern Europe , with few Spaniards, blacks and Latinas in the scene.
It's just 6 euro for a soft drink – which could be soda / beer - and for the lady is a little extra, so if you don't want to expend cash or to charge your credit card more than you've planned, then talk as fast as you with the candidates and make your way to the room.
All the sizes and volumes, but all of them have what it takes to charge a minimum of 150 euros an hour upstairs.
Milady Palace has skinny blonde Barbie type sluts. Sex travelers bet Friday and Saturday as the best days to get laid in this Spaniard brothel because during the weekends you can choose between 50-60 whores. The team is comprised of at least a dozen of Russians, 5 to 8 Polish, and 6 to 8 hot Latina sluts.
Getting laid in here is quite expensive. Prices are 300 euros for one hour. Although they also do half hours, many girls rarely go for this which is 180 euros.
This brothel, known for years, is located near Puerto Banus opposite the Coral Beach Hotel on the golden mile in Marbella . Soft drinks cost 4 euros for each beer or pop/soda you ask, rising to 16 euros and beyond if you buy a lady drink.
Expo 93 is another strip club in Marbella - it is in the industrial area and any taxi can take you there. Expo 93 opens at 8:00 pm , but since the dancers live there, they'll take an hour (from 9 – 10 pm ) to eat.
Although the whores change periodically, the majority of the girls come from South America with a few Africans. These girls are damn hot, no question about it. But the only question we have is why it's barely difficult to catch an Eastern European at Expo 93.
Anyhow, the arrangement between the whores and the owner is that the girls pay €50 per night to operate in the club and everything they take they keep. Soft drinks, including beer, are €7 each with a drink for a girl costing you a penal €30 per go! The girls have to pay €100 if they stay out all night with you so most business is done on the premises.
Paying to have sex is €50 (plus tip) per time for 1/2 an hour. There is also a charge of €3 by the house for a cover sheet for the bed. Every room has a bidet so normal hygiene can be followed both before and after.
Pipo's : It's a nude club with female dancing performances, including a full bar, located at N-340, km.698 Autopista Alicante to Murcia Exit 80 Alicante , Spain , Spain Near: Cox. Everyone is welcomed. Pipo's bar does not offer any party packages at this time or any V.I.P packages.
Los Lagos is sort of a hotel located between La Linea and Algeciaras. If you take a cab in the Gibraltar border or Algeciaras, it would cost you no more than 10 to 20 euros. From Algeciaras, it takes no more than 10 minutes to get there or from La Linea or Gibraltar it is no more than 15 minutes. It's cheap and secure. When you enter in Los Lagos brothel, head first to the bar – drinks surrounds 4 Euros – and then pick your chick or more than one among 20 to 30 girls wearing skimpy clothes. Prices are from 75 euros for 1/2 an hour to 140 for an hour which includes blowjob and/or foot job. That place also provides the room which is Ok.

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